i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
