my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
