TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
