i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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