totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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