i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
