Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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