alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
