please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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