Barsexuality is the new black.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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