im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
