Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
soo... how was my night?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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