Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
