Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize