that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
