what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
