Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
