1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
