I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
