Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
im holly from the hills drunk
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
