He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
