so that wasnt chicken after all
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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