seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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