champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Oh god it's open bar.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
