Whoa Z and x make the same sound
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
