You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
