I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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