my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
