2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think I sprained my soul last night
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Randomize
