Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
