It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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