Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
