I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
