i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
