VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
