): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize