You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
