So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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