my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
