Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
