guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
