I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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