And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
