and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just found puke in my bra..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
