when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
