I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
