I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
