they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
