I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you had me at cake vodka
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
