doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
